He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
