i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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