please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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