I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this boner is exhausting
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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