At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
