not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
