finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
