Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
