its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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