I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
