I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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