Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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