During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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