NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
how do flat chested girls get laid?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
