He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
