love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize