Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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