Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i drank out of a bidet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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