I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
