Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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