Me too!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
