ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
