We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
