After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
