I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
