were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
