he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
as a side note pls kill me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
