Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
