I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
