dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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