need another drink. this is the easiest way
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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