A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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