Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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