The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It was confusing and full of hummus
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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