I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
