so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize