you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize