i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
third nipple confirmed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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