Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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