Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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