just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
