TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
