If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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