Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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