My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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