I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Two words: blizzard sex
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
