Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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