I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
