That's intense
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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