Sry I called you an 8
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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