She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
