question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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