One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize