Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
