went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
