Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
