What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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