Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My Sexting was not on an AP level
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
