I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
